Good to the Last Drop

Womanist Musing's Renee guest posted information about a very intriguing commodity on Shakesville today. I'm sure that soon everyone, in addition to their Red Bulls, Rockstars, and Monsters, will be downing countless numbers of Pussies.

Yes, that's right, Pussy: The Energy Drink (with added milk thistle!).

Isn't it a testament to our creative abilities as human beings that we can find the ingenuity to market a popular item like an energy drink under the crude pet name for a woman's vagina?

Created by a 21 year old who apparently was bored and mixing drinks in the middle of the night, Pussy has become an instant hit in Britain, and was featured in the British show "The F Word".

As delicious as I'm sure Pussy is, I wonder if anyone would be equally enthusiastic about drinking Testes (twice the flavor of other drinks) or Prick (Hard on energy).

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: other people can have the energies of red bulls, monsters, or rock stars, but I prefer to have Pussy energy.

Pussy is on sale for a mere £36.00 per case (24 cans) or £5.99 for a sample pack of 2 cans. With the current exchange rate, that's just $72 per case (just think of the savings)! Now you can be the misogynistic hit of any party. Just pop that virgin top, and drain. Then dispose of your useless Pussy in the nearest recyclable bin.

General fun for all, isn't it?

We're All Colorful

I love having a colorful family. As a writer, a colorful family is my greatest asset. Do you think Hemingway had a colorful family? Of course not. That's why he shot himself. You have so many topics to write about when you have a colorful family.
When people say "colorful" today, they normally mean politically incorrect. That's the politically correct term for it. Truly PC people know that to be politically correct you must be PC about your political correctness. I'm politically correct. My family is colorful.
Another fact that aids my ability to write is the many eras my family members span. Take my paternal grandfather, for example. He's ninety, one of the kindest men you will ever meet, soft spoken, loving, sexist, and a white supremest.
He's allowed to have the last two traits without being at fault, of course, because he's ninety. When he was young, it was fashionable to be a white supremest. They had entire movements in Germany devoted to it. White supremacy really didn't go out of style until the seventies. By the time the seventies came around, he was already close to sixty, and more than set in his ways.
My grandfather's racist comments must be taken with a grain of salt. Ignorance may be bliss for those suffering from it, but for the rest of us, it's pure comedy. Don't believe me? Watch any Chris Rock comedy special. There is a reason that Time named him one of the most influential people alive.
An example of said racist comments would be his recent excursion to the hospital. He's having slight trouble with his colon, and will be having surgery tomorrow (pray that he comes through safely).When he was first admitted, he doctor was a black gentleman and so was his cardiologist. Later, in the ICU, his nurse was Indian. He wondered aloud why we couldn't hire doctors that weren't foreigners or "niggers".
Interesting enough, though, in his tirade he seemed to imply that black people were foreigners as well. it makes one wonder if white people are the only true Americans (in his mind, at least). Are Native Americans truly native to the average ninety year old? And are white foreigners American?
I've also noticed that racism, and most other frowned-upon isms, are acceptable before 4 p.m. on local daytime television (Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, soap operas). Does that mean that all screen writers for shows before 4 are ninety year-old white supremest? Or does it simply mean that all white-supremest over the age of 89 sleep after 4 p.m.?
I'd like to make the point, however, that if we were truly honest with ourselves, we'd realize that we are all colorful. For example, one day my children or grandchildren may be looking back on the post, and believe that I am a youth supremest (which is much like any other supremest, but with a Starbucks).